Charity Page

Please take a few minutes from your busy lives to read a few of the moving stories here...

Grant's story: caring for my brother

Jordan's story
"He knows he can’t cheer me up fully inside, but he can put a smile on my face for ten minutes once a day"

Kiki's story: I look after my mum

Aewyn's story
"I’ve grown up more understanding, tolerant and caring"

Cassy's Story
I help care for my older brother

The Princess Royal Trust for Carers was created on the initiative of HRH The Princess Royal in 1991 who is now the Trust’s President. At that time people caring at home for family members or friends with disabilities and chronic illnesses were scarcely recognised as requiring support.
The Trust is now the leading carers’ organisation across the UK and can be accessed by anyone who has a caring role. The Trust provides carers support services in the UK and through a network of 144 independently managed Carers' Centres; 85 Young Carers’ services and interactive websites, www.carers.org and www.youngcarers.net provides information, advice and support services to over 400,000 carers, including approximately 25,000 Young Carers.

A carer is defined as “someone who, without payment, looks after or provides help and support to a partner, child, relative, friend or neighbour who could not manage without their help”. A young carer is a child or young person under the age of 18 carrying out significant caring tasks and assuming a level of responsibility for another person, which would normally be taken by an adult, some s young as 5years old.

Young Carers may look after relatives with a range of issues, including mental or physical illness, disability or alcohol or substance misuse and over 13,000 of them care for over 50 hours per week. This means that their lives are restricted in some way because of the need to take responsibility for the care of someone - almost 1/3 have educational difficulties; many miss days off school to care for someone; some leave school with no qualifications and most experience bullying and isolation from their peers.

Rather than donating to the Trust generally, Tangent is aiming to provide money and support for Young Carers.
Examples of how this can be achieved are as follows:

• £800 fully supports 1 Young Carer for a year
• £1,000 gives 20 Young Carers a weekend break
• £5,000 gives 50 Young Carers a weekend break
• Young Carers has a dedicated web site www.youngcarers.net – often the most appropriate means of support and communication for Young Carers. Money could pay for the development of the website, ensuring more Young Carers are aware of and able to access a higher quality of information and advice on line. This would ensure that the Trust is reaching out to help additional Young Carers.

Here are a couple of fund raising ideas:

• Carers Week 2010 takes place 14th – 20th June and there will be awareness raising events taking place nationwide. Why not during this week hold a “Caring Cup of Coffee morning “with a caring cake stall.
• If you are holding a Birthday Party at your September meeting, why not add £1 to the cost of your Tangent meeting – this would raise a significant amount.

Young Carers Stories

Grant's story: caring for my brother ^ back to TOP ^
Today in the UK, around one child in every classroom will be a young carer. Their average age is just 12 years old.
Sometimes it all gets too much for Grant, 13, when he’s sitting in school trying to concentrate but can’t stop worrying about what's going on at home.
That's when he uses the 'time out card' that his local Princess Royal Trust Carers’ Centre gave to his school so his teachers would understand when he just has to get out of the classroom to collect his thoughts.
Having someone else explain what you are going through is a relief to a sensitive 13-year-old like Grant, who often gets emotional about his younger brothers and sister. If it had not been for the Carers Centre, children like Grant would feel alone, scared and unsure where they could get help.
His brother Macauley, 12, was born with pneumonia, developed a bowel disorder and now has an ileostomy and takes supplementary food through a tube in his stomach. He has learning difficulties and is partially deaf.
The boys live with their dad Andy and stepmum Danielle but at times Grant takes charge of changing his brother's ileostomy bag, keeping the tube clean and giving him nutrition.
His step-sister Jessica, aged four, has arthritis and his one-year-old stepbrother Joshua needs regular physiotherapy. His dad has recently had major back surgery and is due for more.
Not that Grant minds caring for Macauley: "I protect him when we are out together. He can walk but he’s a bit slow and he doesn’t know about traffic. His hearing difficulties can make things hard. At home I keep him entertained by playing on the Playstation or watching videos with him. I am his best friend. I also help with the chores like doing the washing up.
"What I like about being a carer is knowing I am different. It makes me feel good because I am helping someone. I don’t resent the time I give to looking after him because he is special to me and it’s not his fault that he is ill."
The Princess Royal Trust Carers’ Centre, which Grant has been attending for two years, has been a lifeline for the family. Andy, 37, says: "Grant’s a great help but he thinks about what is going on in the family and sometimes blows his top at school. The Carers’ Centre gives him time away; just time out for himself."
Grant says: "It's great having someone I can talk to who understands and can give me the support I need."
Article by Gill Swain, published in the Daily Express 20 June 2007

Jordan's story ^ back to TOP ^
"He knows he can’t cheer me up fully inside, but he can put a smile on my face for ten minutes once a day"
Jordan, 12, does a lot of practical things to help his mother, Tracey, who suffers from bouts of depression. He goes shopping four times a week and helps with the cleaning, washing and tidying. But he knows that his main job is even more important. "It’s to make her smile and keep her cheerful" he says.
He has learned to recognise the signs of his mother's black mood coming on. "Jordan asks me if I’m feeling OK and though I say I am, he knows I am not and starts doing things for himself" says single mother Tracey, 42.
"I know he needs to be cared for as a child but instead it is him keeping me going with kisses and cuddles and trying to make me laugh. He’ll say: ’Come on, mum, let’s have a game of cards.’ He knows he can’t cheer me up fully inside but he can put a smile on my face for ten minutes once a day. He’s my teddy bear."
Jordan confesses he "gets a bit fed up" when his mum is sinking into a depression which renders her unable to function for several days but he happily takes on the chores. "I know she needs time to herself to go for a walk or visit my nan and I don’t mind doing things in the house.
"And I get to go to the Carers’ Centre where I meet other children. I help them with their problems and have fun."
Article by Gill Swain, published in the Daily Express 18 June 2007

Kiki's story: I look after my mum
The day starts early for 12-year-old Kikelomo Famuyawa. She gets up first, has her bath then runs another one for her two-year-old sister Victoria who suffers from hydrocephalus (water on the brain) and has severe learning difficulties.
Then Kikelomo – known as Kiki to her family – helps her mother Anna, who is almost blind, to bathe the little girl, taking particular care of the tube inserted in her head to drain away the liquid.
“I dress my sister and put her nappy on, make her breakfast cereal and prepare her milk and her nappies and wipes for the day. I show mum where everything is so she can cope while I am at school before I leave the house at eight,” she says.
“After school I cook the tea, maybe rice, noodles or chips and sausages. I do some cleaning and laundry and wash the dishes. I help my mum put Victoria to bed, get her nappies ready and put her milk by the microwave so all mum has to do is push the buttons to warm it up. At the weekend I go shopping with mum because she can’t see what to get without me.”
“It keeps me very busy,” says Kiki. “I have time to do my homework but not for anything else. I’m OK with it. I like caring for mum and my sister because I get to play a lot with my sister and to talk to my mum all the time so I feel very close to them. I like cleaning up, too, because then everything looks good and it makes my mum happy.
“Sometimes I wish I could go out with my friends or have them to stay but I don’t feel jealous of them. I think I am a bit more grown up than them. They don’t look after their parents. Some of them don’t even know how to cook. I don’t tell them I can’t come out with them because I am a carer. I just say I am busy.
“I’m not sure why but I think it’s because I’m afraid they might make some comments about my family and I don’t want that.”
After spending many months on the waiting list, Kiki began attending her local Princess Royal Trust Carers’ Centre every Friday evening two months ago and says it has made a huge difference to her life. She plays sports such as tennis, basketball, football and cricket and does indoor activities such as arts and crafts and cooking and she will get the chance to go on adventure trips.
But perhaps the most valuable thing is that she meets other children in the same position so she doesn’t feel “different” or have to hide who she really is. There are adults to whom she can turn for advice or support, both practical and emotional, and readymade friends she can talk to if it’s all getting a bit much.
She also gets a brief break from her family responsibilities in which she can just enjoy being a 12-year-old child. “I get two hours to myself, relaxing and not looking after anyone,” Kiki says.
Kiki became the linchpin of the family two years ago when Anna, 34, started losing her sight. “I rely on Kiki a lot, even for simple things like telling me when the clothes I have put on are not quite clean or if I’ve put something on inside out,” she says.
“I have been surprised at how good she is. I wish she did not have to do so much but she never complains. She is really understanding, saying to me, ‘Mum, it’s not your fault you can’t see’. I could not manage to look after Victoria without her. She is a gift.”
Article by Gill Swain, published in the Daily Express 19 June 2007

Aewyn's story ^ back to TOP ^
"I’ve grown up more understanding, tolerant and caring"
Aewyn, 16, has thought hard about why she enjoys being a carer. "I know I am making a difference, and I like the feeling of responsibility" she says. Yet her responsibilities would be daunting for a fully trained adult, let alone a girl at an age when most care only for clothes, make-up and boys.
Her mother, Kate, suffers from chronic depression and agoraphobia, while her 13-year-old brother, Gary, has attention deficit disorder and development problems. Aewyn says "I help my mum cope with Gary and try to give her a happy time."
She gets her mum and brother up and gives them their breakfast and medication. Sometimes Gary, who hates school, reacts aggressively and Aewyn has to pull the quilt off him or even spray him with water. On other occasions her mother also feels too low to get out of bed.
Aewyn gets Gary ready and takes him to and from school on the bus as he is afraid of crowds and often bullied. Back home she keeps him amused, helps Kate make the tea, do the housework and order groceries over the internet.
Kate says: "Gary can be happy one minute and screaming and throwing himself around the next. He is very demanding and difficult.
"When Aewyn sees that it is draining me she steps in, forgets what she is doing and takes him upstairs to do what he wants. She motivates me. She is my shining light, giving me hope. I wish I was more like her."
Aewyn started being a surrogate mum to Gary at the age of six, anticipating the nervous breakdown which overwhelmed her mum a year later after her dad walked out. She confesses: "It is hard sometimes because my brother is always fighting and arguing. If I feel resentful, I ignore it or read a book until it goes away."
None of her school friends know what her life is like at home. "I don’t tell them because they make fun of people who have things like my mum and my brother do. I want to be one of them when I am with them, so I keep this part of my life totally separate."
Her ambition is to gain a degree in music and later study architecture. She believes her experience as a carer has made her "more understanding, tolerant and caring."
Article by Gill Swain, published in the Daily Express 18 June 2007 (names have been changed)

Cassy's Story
I help care for my older brother
Cassy, 12, helps care for her older brother who has muscular dystrophy.
Looking after her brother means that Cassy sometimes misses school and has a lot more responsibility than friends her age.
"I have been helping to look after my brother for about four years. He uses a wheelchair because he has a disease called muscular dystrophy which makes his muscles waste away.
Helping him out
I help him out with everyday things - I get his drinks and cut up his food.
I also help out with lifting and picking him up.
He’s getting older so it’s getting harder. I’m 12 and he’s 15 so he’s bigger than me.
When we go out, or on holiday, I automatically look out for ramps so that my brother can get around. It’s something I do without thinking now.
Spending time together
We both go to the same school, he’s two years above me.
We get on well and I spend a lot of time with him.
We play on our Xbox loads - mainly Buffy the Vampire Slayer!
Missing school
I sometimes miss out on school when my brother has to go to physiotherapy.
Because my mum has to be with him, there’s no one to pick me up.
If something happens to my brother in the morning I am sometimes late for school as well. We get behind and leave for school later than we should.
It can be quite stressful arriving at school late.
Young Carers Project
I go to a group called Young Carers. It’s a group for young people who all help look after someone in their family.
It’s held at a local youth centre near me and I’ve been going for about three years.
Quite a few of us who are young carers go to hang out there.
We chill out together and head to the park or cinema.
It’s a good group to go to because it gets you out of the house. It really helps me to chill out."
Cassy, 12 ^ back to TOP ^
Cassy spoke to CBBC Newsround. Her story was originally published on: http://news.bbc.co.uk/cbbcnews/default.stm